Step 3: Eyes Adjusting

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Dark Night of the Soul (Acrylc on Canvas)

Eventually eyes start to adjust to the darkness.  That which once seemed pitch black gives way to glimpses of our surroundings.  With heightened other senses and eyes adjusting, visibility starts to come.

What is seen?  The bottom of a deep hole.  The walls around us are very steep.  It feels as if the sides are closing in on us.  Hopelessness threatens to wash over us, once again.  Isolation seems to be our only friend.  Our soul feels like it has been torn apart.  Our heart has been rent nearly in pieces.  The hole in which we dwell is the chasm within our spirit.  The fissure we are experiencing represents the grief we can hardly bear.  The wound is more than we can heal on our own.  Just when we thought things were getting better, we feel back at square one.  This Dark Night of the Soul is a bleak journey that does not always seem to be linear.  We cycle back to the darkness.  We find ourselves seemingly no further than when we'd first begun.  Sometimes it is easier to close our eyes than to accept what we see.  Denial would be a sweet balm.  Yet we know that denial will not get us through the Dark Night of the Soul.  As a dear friend of mine once said, "We can face the grief or drag it with us wherever we go."  We can face the darkness or let it permeate and seep in everything else that we do.  We must continue the painful journey of acceptance, self awareness, and perseverance.  Along the way we may experience waves of apathy and anger.  These array of emotions seem to help us cope, for the moment.  Any addictions we have ever faced try to tempt us, once again, as we traverse the dark night of the soul.  We realize there is a deep hole within us, a seemingly endless void that we are trying to fill.  And typically we will try to fill it with everything but what we actually need.  

When we realize this need, that is when we must dig deeper, seeking God's presence.  Only God's presence can light our way through the darkness.  Only God's presence can fill us.  Only God's presence can satiate our souls.  And only God's love can carry us out of the hole.  Only God's compassion walks with us through it all, leading us through.  Only God's deep affection can heal the hole.    


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